Have you heard the myth...that artists thrive in chaos?
I’ve only ever found chaos in direct opposition to work.
I work best in calm. Quiet. Structure. I need to trust that I can get to sleep at night and will have social recovery time between events. I need to have cooked good food and spent quality time with my partner. I need to have finished my client work and had a consistent intake of water. I need a lot to be able to give painting focus.
Covid has made that so clear. And once seen, I am unable to unsee it.
As I hit new chaotic transitions, this truth is cemented into my psyche again and again.
So I’m allowing myself a very gentle approach to the studio. I’m taking baby steps. I found the floor again. Reclaimed my working surface buried beneath this and that. I pulled out my palette and am painting color swatches to learn what my new phthalo and quinacridone magenta can do. I’m doodling thumbnails. I’m writing.
I’m letting my brain ease back into my work after finishing something big like the series. And because the studio is porous and life enters too, I’m easing back as life transitions outside as well.
But I’ve been here before. And I’m not worried.
As long as I keep going in and moving paint around, I can feel the first embers of creativity beginning to slowly come to life again. I can be patient.